Advice For a College Bound Daughter

I have the letter my mom wrote to me and left under my pillow that first night in my college dorm room after the family had moved me in, hugged me goodbye and driven away. I gave it to my daughter the day she moved into her college dorm room....only I handed it to her and told her to read it after I'd left for home. Now I will give it to my granddaughters as they begin their first year.  It is the kind of letter that says exactly what every girl needs to read, to know and to feel at this moment in time...and my Mom said it best.
Mom and I saying goodbye as I begin my college years

 I was off to Western Michigan University to become a teacher in the fall of 1962.  Just 18, the oldest child of four including the 'little kids' ages 3 and 5; moving two hours away from my Detroit home to live and learn in Kalamazoo was a big deal! Mom depended on me, so letting me go was hard for her. She knew I was excited and we'd had all the talks; but mostly she understood this was a great leap of faith and growth for me. Her letter was perfect comfort and confidence in knowing I'd be okay.

for you and D, K and B. Maybe we haven't always done things wisely, but all that we have done is because of our great love for you kids. Looking back, there were things that would have made your life happier, I'm sure, but you have had a wonderful life as it is. Do you understand what I'm trying to say my darling? I believe with all my heart that you're going to do wonderful things someday and you will learn best by living the best life that you can.
                                        Joanie, you are going to run into many different kinds of situations and temptations of which you have no knowledge; but we have enough faith and love in you to know that you can and will handle them all to the best of your ability. Remember time and again of why you are and where you are, and what it means to all of us. We will miss you, but if you are happy then we won't mind so much.
                                           Do what is right for you; weigh your decisions, then be happy with your choice in what ever you do. Pray to God each night Joanie, and give thanks for everything as I pray each night thanking him for giving you to us. We are very proud of you and know you will do everything to make us keep on being so proud.  We are always here whenever you need us.
                           Goodnight my darling, sleep tight and give thanks.
                                                         All my love always,
                                                                Mother
                                                                Grandma 
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20 comments:

  1. OlgaAugust 1, 2014 at 8:02 AM

    Just so beautiful. That is a true treasure.

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    1. Joan StommenAugust 2, 2014 at 4:02 PM

      Thanks Olga! I learned from my Mom to keep letters....so glad I did! Love your new profile photo!

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  2. Grandma KcAugust 1, 2014 at 1:19 PM

    That is beautiful and it should come with a Kleenex warning! How is it possible that they grow so fast and that your granddaughter will soon be off to college. Amara did a week of computer camp at the Santa Ana College -- I loved telling everyone she was going to college! But then she wasn't moving hours away!

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    1. Joan StommenAugust 2, 2014 at 4:04 PM

      Thanks, Kc. I know what you mean; they're all growing too fast! Me too.....but that's another story LOL Cool sounding camp experience for Amara; hope you've all had an awesome summer! Will she be 3rd or 4th grade come fall?

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  3. Carol CassaraAugust 15, 2014 at 9:31 AM

    Socially sharing this... ;-)

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  4. Janie EmausSeptember 17, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    I remember my parents leaving me. I was only 2 hours from home, but it felt like I was around the world. And I worried I would never eat because I hated to eat alone! I'm so glad you kept that letter.

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    1. Joan StommenSeptember 23, 2014 at 9:33 AM

      Me too, Janie. I remember that feeling of "so far away" and it was just 2 hours! What a giant step for us......left alone for the first time. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  5. LaniSeptember 20, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    I love this. So great that you still have it.

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    1. Joan StommenSeptember 23, 2014 at 9:36 AM

      Lani! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading! I'm very thankful to have this.....and to share with my girls now! Lost Mom 4 years ago today......she'd be pleased knowing this is still circulating!

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  6. Lori @ Our Life In The Pacific NorthwestOctober 12, 2014 at 11:36 AM

    Loved the letter... We have seen our three daughters off to college and reading your letter brought tears to my eyes. Our son is a senior this year and our baby so we will be saying good bye again... It is such a joyous but sad occasion. Thanks for sharing it. :)

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  7. www.pennienichols.comSeptember 1, 2016 at 9:11 AM

    Beautiful. Wonderful that you held onto the letter.

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  8. Carol CassaraSeptember 1, 2016 at 10:40 AM

    Sharing again this year! I remembered it well.

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    1. Joan StommenSeptember 4, 2016 at 2:23 PM

      Thanks Carol...you're the best! I appreciate it :)

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  9. UnknownSeptember 1, 2016 at 7:59 PM

    Wow! Made me tear up. What a perfect letter. So glad you kept it and were able to share it with your daughter and granddaughter. What a legacy!

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  10. Diane Stringam TolleyAugust 16, 2019 at 11:49 AM

    Absolutely beautiful! What a treasure to give to your granddaughters as they take this first flight!

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  11. www.pennienichols.comAugust 16, 2019 at 12:19 PM

    Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. RenaAugust 16, 2019 at 12:21 PM

    What a beautiful letter! Your mom & you as well are giving something that will be a treasured tradition for many generations to come and to think it all started with that letter. (Rena)

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  13. DarleneAugust 16, 2019 at 12:22 PM

    This is classic and heartwarming. College life has changed so much since this letter was written, and in many ways for the worse! This is the BEST gift you could have given your granddaughter. It's touching, profound and still very very relevant today. Thanks for sharing.

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