Adult Children and the Holidays...10 Tips to Ease the Stress of Sharing
2. Respect that the newlyweds may want to host a big holiday themselves.
They married in late September and had an autumn honeymoon. The next thing we knew, they wanted to host Thanksgiving. My husband and daughter and I drove north, caught up in the excitement of the newlyweds hosting their first holiday. Having Thanksgiving dinner prepared by someone else and spending time with the other parents was a treat. But being invited back for Christmas was much harder. I didn’t like it and may have whined to my son, “please come to us, we always cut down a tree, decorate it, go to Christmas Eve Mass, get up at the crack of dawn tooogetherrrrr.” Her parents were not able to go, so my son’s pleading that their first Christmas was a really big deal touched my heart. Imagine my delight discovering he followed our same traditions; leaving milk and cookies for Santa, opening a gift on Christmas Eve, making us wait in the hallway Christmas morning until he turned on the lights and exclaimed, “SANTA WAS HERE!”
3. When it's your turn to host a family gathering, invite the son or daughter-in-law's parents.
After our daughter married and bought a home nearby, my husband and I mostly hosted holiday dinners. Our son-in-law's parents lived out of state, so when they were in town we included them as well. I never realized in those early years that the other parents would become lifelong friends.
Posted by Joan Stommen